Have you ever borrowed money or taken a loan, overdraft, or checks to:
- celebrate Slava (celebration of a family’s patron saint; intangible cultural heritage of Serbia),
- buy appropriate gifts,
- go to a party,
- go on a winter vacation?
At this time of year, we often spend more than we have, because there are Slavas, New Year’s shopping and New Year’s celebrations, Christmas, and some of us are planning a winter vacation.
Have you ever avoided a party or meeting people just because you didn’t have (enough) money for a gift, to pay for a drink or dinner, or to properly celebrate?
Have you ever decided to buy or pay for something because you felt it was expected of you or you wanted to show people that you could afford it, when in fact you were aware that it was an extra expense that you didn’t want, that didn’t mean anything to you, or that might have a bad effect on your financial situation?
Most of us have experienced some of the above or similar situations.
Not only during the holidays, it happens on a daily basis, when for example:
- you decide to pay for someone’s drink / dinner or go dutch / let someone pay,
- your co-worker who has a higher salary or just a better financial situation asks you every day to join him / her for lunch, and you can’t afford to pay for a cooked meal (every day), but would rather bring food from home or buy something small in the bakery, and yet you are embarrassed to say no to your colleague …
- you receive a valuable birthday present from an acquaintance, and you feel that you should reciprocate with a gift of the same value or even a more expensive gift…
- you have a company that is not doing well, you have additional costs because of it, and you have already tried everything and would like to close it, but keep it open so that you don’t explain to all those “experts” around you with “successful” companies why you closed it, why the business failed, etc.
The conclusion is simple: our wallet is often lighter precisely because of social pressure, but also because of perception of what we can afford and what image of ourselves we will present to our environment…
This is how we prove ourselves, because we think that we will disappoint someone or they won’t appreciate us if we can’t or don’t want to spend money on something.
Then others prove themselves to us because they think that we value their material possessions.
And so we run in circles.
How much has your ego cost you so far?
Stop torturing your wallet and yourself
There is no end to this vicious circle until you decide to spend money according to your financial capabilities, on those things that you really need and really want, and on people who are really dear and important to you.
It’s always hard to be the first to speak openly about this topic. And when you do, you may be surprised at how many people around you will support you not to spend on formalities but on what really matters.
You will be an example to those around you, and if you have children, to them too, and they will learn from you a responsible attitude towards finances, because financial habits are acquired primarily in the family.
A couple of tips at the end:
- Plan your purchase, make a list and don’t do shopping at the last minute
- Shopping malls should help you save your time and do everything in one place; not for unplanned shopping
- Say no to impulsive buying
- Don’t spend more than you have, and if you really have to – use checks or other interest-free benefits. Avoid overdraft because it is the most expensive credit product. If you need a bank, check the price of a cash loan, or a consumer loan.
- Beware of discounts and sales. Compare prices, not discounts.
- Instead of buying expensive gifts, show people that you care about them, and that it means to you to see them and spend time with them. Don’t assume they will judge you if you don’t give an expensive gift. Communicate, explain, and make some handmade gifts at home.
The most valuable thing you can give to someone is your time and attention.
Below is a calendar of kindness, which suggests one act of kindness for each day:
If you want to print the calendar, you can download the pdf file here.
If you want to take care of yourself and your finances, I am at your disposal for 1-on-1 coaching sessions to support you along the way.